A large collection of hash songs
www.bigheadsh3.net/song/Another_Hash_Hymnal.htm

Local KAW!H3 songs:

You’re a Shitty Hare
Tune: Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi

You should’ve used more flour or chalk
But lost on your trail
It said “You’ve been fucked”
It sucked
It sucked
We wanted to drink Magic Hat
But lost on your trail
We’d have settled for Frio
It sucked
It sucked
You’ve got to hold on to the drink you’ve got
It doesn’t make a difference if it’s beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot… on trail…    (NOTE: Show tits)
You’re drinking a lot!
Ohhh, there was no beer out there
Ohhh oh, you’re a shitty hare
Take some flour, and use it on trail
Ohhh oh, you’re a shitty hare
You’re a shitty hare! 

My Sister Belinda
Tune:  Cielito Lindo 
Ay ay ay ay
Si, si, señora
My sister Belinda, She pissed out the window
All over my brand new sombrero
Verse
I like my gin, it helps me slip in, 
But give me the good old vino,
It gives me a stand supremo
(Chorus)

More Verses:
I like my rum, it helps me to come,
I like my whiskey, it makes me feel frisky

​Man Trap
Melody: Ring of Fire
​
Love is a burning thing,
Met a girl who could make me sing,
A snatch was never wider,
I fell into her huge vagina.

CHORUS:
I fell into her steamy wet vagina,
Went down, down, down, almost the whole way to China.
And it turns, squirms, churns,
That huge vagina, that huge vagina.

The taste, it was so sweet,
Then I slid in my meat,
Just before I was done,
She asked, "Are you in yet, hon?"

CHORUS
I fell into her steamy wet vagina,
Went down, down, down, almost the whole way to China.
And it turns, squirms, churns,
That huge vagina, that huge vagina.

CHORUS
I fell into her steamy wet vagina,
Went down, down, down, but she wouldn't let me ride her,
And it turns, squirms, churns,
That huge vagina, that huge vagina.

I tasted her and then,
I had to try again,
She said, with all her charm,
"Don't use your cock again, try your arm."

CHORUS
I fell into her steamy wet vagina,
With arms and legs both, I couldn't satisfy her.
And it turns, squirms, churns,
That huge vagina, that huge vagina.

If I were the marrying kind
If I were the marrying kind, 
Which thank the lord I’m not sir, 
The kind of man that I would wed, 
Would be a fireman.

He’d wank a hose, 
and I’d wank a hose, 
We’d both wank hoses together.

We’d be alright in the middle of the night, 
Wanking hoses together.

If I were the marrying kind, 
Which thank the lord I’m not sir, 
The kind of woman that I would wed, 
Would be a nurse.

She’d poke me, 
and I’d poke her, 
We’d both get poked together.

We’d be alright in the middle of the night, 
Getting poked together.

If I were the marrying kind, 
Which thank the lord I’m not sir, 
The kind of man that I would wed, 
Would be a referee.

He’d blow hard, 
and I’d blow hard, 
We’d both blow hard together.

We’d be alright in the middle of the night, 
Blowing hard together.

If I were the marrying kind, 
Which thank the lord I’m not sir, 
The kind of man that I would wed, 
Would be a comedian.

He’d tell a joke, 
and I’d show my joke, 
We’d both have jokes together.

We’d be alright in the middle of the night, 
Having jokes together.

Ball of Kerrymuir

Intro:
Four and twenty virgins
came down from Inverness.
when the ball was over,
there were four and twenty less.

Chorus:
Singing balls to your partner
ass against the wall.
if you never get fucked on a Saturday night,
you'll never get fucked at all

Verses:
the village parson, he was there,
sitting at the front;
knitting rubber johnnies
from and old dunlop tyre.

the village virgin, she was there,
sitting at the front;
broken glass around her arse,
barbed wire around her cunt.

the village cripple, he was there,
he wasn't up to much;
lining the girls against the wall
and fucking them with his crutch.

the village teacher, she was there,
sitting with her class;
stroking all the little boys
and taking it up her ass.

the village postman, he was there,
he had a dose of pox.
so, instead of screwing women,
he screwed the letterbox.

the vicar's daughter, she was there,
up to her usual tricks;
Jumping off the mantelpiece
and landing on her tits.

the village idiot, he was there,
up to his usual trick;
pulling his foreskin over his head
and whistling down his dick.

the village midwife, she was there,
explaining to the groom
that the vagina, not the rectum,
was the entrance to the womb.

the village bobby, he was there;
pride of all the force.
they found him in the stables,
wanking off a horse.

the village farmer, he was there,
wearing fancy socks.
he fucked a lassie forty times,
then found she had the pox.

I Need a Sheep
Tune - Scotland the Brave
​
​Bring me some whiskey, mother
I'm feeling frisky, mother
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!
I need a lover, mother
No, not my brother, mother
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!

Gerbils don't make it, mother
They just can't take it, mother
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!
Owls, bats and other critters
Just tend to give me jitters
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!

Sheep never talk about it
They never ever doubt it
Always so placid, affectionate and nice!
Give me that lanolin.
Better than flannel-in.
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!

SKEETER ON MY PETER
 Melody – If You’re Happy And You Know It 
 
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!) 
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off, (wack it off!) 
There’s a dozen on my cousin’s, 
I can here the fucker’s buzzin, 
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off! 

DEAD DOG ROVER
Melody – I’m Looking Over a Four Leaf Clover 
 
I’m looking over, 
My dead dog Rover, 
That I over ran with the mower. 
One leg is missing, 
The other is gone, 
The third leg is scattered, 
All over the lawn. 
You see there’s no use explaining, 
The one remaining, 
It’s spinning on the carport floor 
I’m looking over, 
My dead dog Rover, 
That I ran over, 
That I ran over, 
That I ran over with the mower! 

"Imma Pee on Yo' Face" 
to it's own tune

Imma pee on yo face, pee on yo face, pee on yo face
I ATE ASPARAGUS
Imma shit on yo chest, shit on yo chest, shit on yo chest
I ATE CORN

"We Had Sex" 
to the tune of Iconopop's "I Love It"

I found a little boy on the playground just down the street
He was all by himself, no one was around to be seen
I had some candy in my pocket so I gave it to him
We went back to my place and then

Chorus
We had sex! I fucked him!
We had sex! I fucked him!

I found a little girl on the playground just down the street
She lost her doll, she was in tears. She came to me
We looked around the park but it was nowhere to be seen
We went back to my place and then

Chorus
We had sex! I fucked her!
We had sex! I fucked her!

"Pound-it-mon"
to the tune of the Pokemon theme song

I want to drink like the very best 
Like no hound ever was 
To catch beer is my real test 
To drain them is my cause. 

I will hash across the land 
Shiggy tall and wide 
Each beer can to understand and drain what lies inside 

(Pound-it-mon) 
Got to drink them all! 
The hash and me 
You know it’s our destiny. 

(Pound-it-mon) 
oooh, Beers's my best friend 
With the rest i just pretend 

(Pound-it-mon) 
Got to drink them all! 
Ohh a friend so blue 
our livers will pull us through 
​
I drink beer and so should you 
Poooound-it mon 
Got to drink them all, got to drink them all, 
Pound-it-mon

OH SIR JASPER
She wears her silk pajamas in the summer when it's hot,
She wears her woolen nightie in the winter when it's not,
But later in the springtime, and early in the fall,
She lays between the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.

Oh Sir Jasper do not touch me!
Oh Sir Jasper do not touch me!
Oh Sir Jasper do not touch me!

And she lay beneath the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.

Oh Sir Jasper do not touch!
Oh Sir Jasper do not touch!
Oh Sir Jasper do not touch!

And she lay beneath the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.

Oh Sir Jasper do not!
Oh Sir Jasper do not!
Oh Sir Jasper do not!

And she lay beneath the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.

Oh Sir Jasper do!
Oh Sir Jasper do!
Oh Sir Jasper do!

And she lay beneath the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.

Oh Sir Jasper!
Oh Sir Jasper!
Oh Sir Jasper!

And she lay beneath the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.

Oh Sir!
Oh Sir!
Oh Sir!

And she lay beneath the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.

Oh!
Oh!
Oh!

And she lay beneath the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.

And she lay beneath the lily-white sheets with nothing on at all.

Gang Bang Lulu
to the tune of Goodnight Ladies

Chorus
Gang, Bang, Lulu,
Lulu's gone away,
Who we gonna' gang bang now
When Lulu's gone away.

Some girls work in factories,
Some girls work in stores,
But Lulu works in a brothel
With forty other..........

Lulu had a baby,
It was an awful shock
She couldn't call it Lulu,
'Cause the bastard had a .........

I took her to the pictures,
We sat down in the stalls,
And every time the lights went out,
She'd grab me by the ...........

Lulu and I went fishing,
In a dainty punt,
And every time she caught a sprat,
She'd stuff up her........

I wish I were the silver ring,
On Lulu's dainty hand
Then every time she scratches her arse,
I'd see the promised .........

I wish I were the chamber pot,
Under Lulu's bed,
Then every time she took a piss,
I'd see her maiden ..........

Lulu had two boy-friends,
Both were very rich
One was the son of a banker,
The other a son-of-a......

Lulu had a boy-friend,
His name was Tommy Tucker,
He took her down the alley,
To see if he could ......

Lulu had a boy-friend,
A funny little chap
Every time they had a bit,
She got a dose of the...

Lulu was a pretty girl,
She had a lot of class,
Mini-skirts she'd wear a lot,
To let her show her.......

Lulu had a boy-friend,
He was very fit,
Working all day on the farm,
His job was shoveling......

Lulu and a boy-friend,
A stunted little runt,
One day they went to have a bit,
And he vanished up her.....

Lulu had a little lamb,
She kept it in a bucket,
Every time the lamb jumped out,
The bulldog used to......

Lulu and I went walking,
We walked along the grass,
She slipped on a banana peel,
And fell down on her.....

Lulu made some porridge,
It was very thick,
Lulu wouldn't eat it,
But she'd smear it on my......

Lulu had a bicycle,
The seat was very blunt,
Every time she jumps on it
It sticks her in her.....

Lulu had a bicycle,
The seat was very sharp,
Every time she sat on it
It would slip right up her....

Lulu had a boyfriend,
His name was Diamond Dick,
She never saw his diamond,
But she always saw his....

Lulu had a boyfriend,
His name was Michael Hunt,
She like him above the rest,
Because he'd eat her...

Lulu met a fisherman,
Fishing for some bass,
Instead of catching fish that day,
He got a piece of...

Lulu met a scrum half,
Sat down in his lap,
Lulu got the scrum half,
The scrum half got the...

Lulu had a turtle,
And Lulu had a duck.
She put them in the bathtub,
To see if they would...

Lulu had a vanity chair,
It was made of glass,
Every time she sat on it,
You could see her...

Lulu had a boyfriend,
His name was Billy Batch,
But Lulu had to break it off,
When it got stuck in her....

​Lulu had a job,
But then she had to quit,
'Cause every time she turned around,
The boss would grab her...

Lulu met the Penguins,
She liked the way they played,
The Penguins liked Lulu,
They liked the way she...

"Tummy Dance"
Put your hands in your pants and do the tummy dance!
Tummy, tummy, TUMMY, TUMMY!
Tummy, tummy, TUMMY, TUMMY!
Tummy, tummy, TUMMY, TUMMY!
Tummy, tummy, TUMMY, TUMMY!

"I'll Get a Beer Into You" 
to the tune of Mulan's "I'll Make a Man Out of You"
​
Let's get down to business
To defeat these beers
Did they give me waters
When I asked for Tiger Tears?

You're the soberest bunch I've ever met
But you can bet before we're through
Hasher, I'll get a beer into you!

DRINK A BEER!
You must be drunk as an alcoholic
DRINK A BEER!
Gotta drink up the whole saloon
DRINK A BEER!
Now you're the one with the drunken hashers
Singin' the songs that end up out of tune

My Cock'll Choke You
Tune: La Cucaracha

My cock'll choke you
My cock'll choke you
When I put it in your mouth 

My cock'll choke you
My cock'll choke you
When I put it in your mouth 

Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth 

Can't say your safe word
Can't say your safe word
When my cock is in your mouth 

Smile for the camera
Smile for the camera
When my cock is in your mouth 

Smile for the camera
Smile for the camera
When my cock is in your mouth 

Now you're on facebook
Now you're on facebook 
When my cock was in your mouth 

Now you're on facebook
Now you're on facebook 
When my cock was in your mouth

Your grandma liked it
Your grandma liked it
When my cock was in your mouth

Your grandma liked it
Your grandma liked it
When my cock was in your mouth

Your grandma liked it
Your grandma liked it
When my cock was in your mouth  

Can't get a job now
Can't get a job now
Cause my cock was in your mouth

Can't get a job now
Can't get a job now
Cause my cock was in your mouth

Got a new job now
Got a new job now
*gagging noises*

Got a new job now
Got a new job now
*gagging noises*

YOGI BEAR SONG
Melody - Camptown Races

There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi,
There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.

CHORUS (REPEAT PREVIOUS VERSE):
Yogi, Yogi Bear,
Yogi, Yogi Bear,
There is a bear in the deep dark woods,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.

Other verses:
Yogi has a little friend, Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo
Boo-Boo has a girlfriend, Cyndi, Cyndi
Yogi has a girlfriend, Suzi, Suzi
Cyndi has a shaven snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly
Cyndi wears crotchless undies, Teddy, Teddy
Cyndi likes it on the ice, Polar, Polar
Cyndi gets what she deserves, Pregnant, Pregnant
Suzi likes it up the rear, Dirty, Dirty
Suzi's boyfriend has no teeth, Gummi, Gummi
Suzi's snatch it smells like cheese, Camen, Camen
Suzi she has great big tits, More than, More than (I can bear)
Suzi gets four bits an hour, Jingle, Jingle
Cyndi's tampon has no string, Cotton, Cotton
Yogi didn't use a condom, Daddy, Daddy
Boo-Boo likes it upside down, Koala, Koala
Boo-Boo has a twelve-inch cock, Cindy's a lucky bear
Boo-Boo's only three feet tall, Yogi's a lucky bear
Boo-Boo likes it up the butt, Yogi's a lucky bear
Yogi didn't wipe his butt, Brown, Brown
Yogi uses Afro-Sheen, Black, Black
Yogi got a case of crabs, Itchy, Itchy
Yogi lights Kuwaiti farts, Saddam, Saddam
Boo-Boo likes to stroke his tool, Wanker, Wanker
Yogi also likes young boys, Poofter, Poofter

TODAY IS MONDAY
Notes: Each line is repeated back at the leader of the song. For the last line of the chorus all members raise their cups over their head and dance around in a circle. After each new Verse, the last line of all previous verses are repeated before the chorus is sung. 
 
Today is Monday, 
Monday is a wanking day. 
 
CHORUS: 
Leader: Is everybody happy? 
All: You bet your ass we are! 
Da da dut da da, da da dut da da 
 
Today is Tuesday, 
Tuesday is a 2 finger day. 
 
Today is Wednesday, 
Wednesday is a hmm day, 
 
Today is Thursday, 
Thursday is a KAW day, 
 
Today is Friday, 
Friday is a fucking day, 
 
Today is Saturday, 
Saturday is a drinking day, 
 
Today is Sunday, 
Sunday is a day or rest. 

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags
to the tune of Crazy Rap by Afroman
​
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, 
Singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, 
Sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, 
Skatin' on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.

WOODPECKER SONG
Melody – Dixie.

I put my finger in the woodpecker’s hole, 
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul, 
Take it out, take it out, take it out, 
REMOVE IT!”

I removed my finger from the woodpecker’s hole, 
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul, 
Put it back, put it back, put it back, 
REPLACE IT!”
​
Optional Verses: 
Replaced/turn it round/REVOLVE IT!
Revolved/turn it back/REVERSE IT!
Reversed/in and out/RECIPROCATE IT!
Reciprocated/slow it down/RETARD IT!
Retarded/once again/REPEAT IT!
Repeated/let it go/RELEASE IT!
Released/pull it out/RETRACT IT!
Retracted/take a whiff/REVOLTING!

THE GIRL FROM BALTIMORE (AKA SINGAPORE)
Oh she went to the church just to pray for the people,
But the funk of her cunt knocked the cross off the steeple.

CHORUS:
She's a dirty motherfucker,
She's a rotten whore,
She's the girl from Baltimore.
And the hashers sing?
(Clutch ass and tits):
Ass and titties, ass ass and titties.
Ass and titties. ass ass and titties.
​
Oh she went to the well just to make a wish,
But the . . . knocked off all the fish.

Oh she went for a ride on her motorcycle,
But the . . . knocked the chain off the cycle. 

She visited Jakarta on a medical trip,
But the . . . just continued to drip.

She laid a Wednesday run just for a caper,
Using the . . . instead of using paper.

She laid it round a . . . late one afternoon,
But the . . . knocked the star off the moon.

She took a short cut just to get back quicker,
But the . . . made the shiggy thicker.

She led them down a cliff just to test their reaction,
But the . . . made them lose all their traction.

They made her sing a song at the end of the day,
But the . . . made the circle go away.

At last she was a leaver and we gave her a mug,
But the . . . was enough to fill her jug.

The Doggies' Meeting
Melody - God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen

The doggies held a meeting,
They came from near and far,
Some came by motorcycle,
Some came by motorcar.
Each doggy passed the entrance,
Each doggy signed the book,
Then each unshipped his asshole,
And hung it on the hook.

One dog was not invited,
It sorely raised his ire,
He ran into the meeting hall
And loudly shouted, "Fire!"
It threw them in confusion,
And without a second look,
Each grabbed another's asshole
From off another hook.

And that's the reason why, sir,
When walking down the street,
And that's the reason why, sir,
When doggies chance to meet,
And that's the reason why, sir,
Wherever doggies roam,
He'll sniff another's asshole,
To see if it's his own.

Incest Time in Texas
Melody - Yellow Rose of Texas
​
When it's incest time in Texas
and there's no cunt to be found
your mama's in the bathroom
with her panties halfway down
no time for masturbation
no time to beat your meat
when it's incest time in Texas
mother fuckin' can't be beat!

He's a Fairy
to the tune of Pop goes the weasel

He doesn't go out with girls anymore
the neighborhood boys are leery 
he stays at home and beats his meat
​Poof! He's a fairy!

Glorious Victorious

Intro
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Drunk last night
Drunk the night before
Gonna get drunk tonight
Like I’ve never been drunk before
Cause when I’m drunk I’m as happy as can be
Cause we’re all part of the Hasher family
Oh, the Hash family,
Is the best family,
To ever come over,
From the old Germany.
You got your High land Drunks
Your Low land Drunks
Your Asian Drunks
And the other fuckin' drunks

What's that smell on the eastern breeze 
it's the god damn Dutch making limburger cheese
God made the Irish, he didn't make much
But it's a hell of a lot better than the god damn dutch

Chorus
Singing Glorious, Victorious!
Hey!!!
One keg of beer for the four of us.
Singing Glory be to God that there are no more of us,
‘Cause one of us could drink it all alone,
Damn near, pass the beer, to the rear, of the Hash House.

Verses
Oh There are no serious Hashers By the Bay (by the Bay!)
Oh There are no serious Hashers By the Bay (by the Bay!)
‘Cause they’re all a bunch of queers,
Who get drunk on half a beer,
There are no serious Hashers by the Bay!

Oh There are no serious Hashers in Dallas (in Dallas!)
Oh There are no serious Hashers in Dallas (in Dallas!)
Well actually I don't know, 
'cause to Dallas no one goes
There are no serious Hashers in Dallas!

Oh There are no serious Hashers in El Pasp (in El Paso!)
Oh There are no serious Hashers in El Paso (in El Paso!)
Because when immigration comes near
They run off and leave the beer
There are no serious Hashers in El Paso!

Chicago
Melody - The Bear Went Over the Mountain
(Take turns leading verses)

CHORUS:
I used to work in Chicago,
In a department store,
I used to work in Chicago,
I don't work there any more.

VERSES:
​A lady came in for some stockings,
Some stockings from the store,
Stockings she wanted,
A hosing she got,
I don't work there any more.

A lady came in for some carpet,
Some carpet from the store,
Carpet she wanted,
Laid she got,
I don't work there any more.

A lady came in for some nails,
Some nails from the store,
Nails she wanted,
Screwed she got,
I don't work there any more.

A man came in for a balloon,
A balloon from the store,
Balloon he wanted,
Blown he got,
I don't work there any more.

A lady came in for some wool,
Some wool from the store,
Wool she wanted,
Felt she got,
I don't work there any more.

A man came in for some carpet,
Some carpet from the store,
Shag he wanted,
Piles he got,
I don't work there any more.

A lady came in for metaphysical conversation,
Metaphysical conversation from the store,
Metaphysical conversation she wanted,
Fucked she got,
I don't work there any more.

A man came in for a lollipop,
A lollipop from the store,
A sucker he wanted,
Sucked he got,
I don't work there any more.

A lady came in for drain cleaner,
Drain cleaner from the store,
Drano she wanted,
Clean pipes she got,
I don't work there any more.

Tourist Song (from O2H3)

Tourist! God damn tourist!
They go every where that I go.
Damn tourist. Lily white tourist. 
They can take a tour of my asshole.
If I had my way I'd send 'em all back.
And make 'em stand naked in a jail in Iraq.
Tourist! Lily white tourist!
They aggravate me.
M - I - C - K - E - Y
Oh you S - O - B
Drink it down!